“Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others– it only changes yours.”
― Shannon Alder
Let’s face it, none of us is immune to anger and/or jealousy, and how the two often feed each other. The question for a spiritual seeker is what do we do with those feelings? Ignoring them certainly doesn’t work. Making excuses is even worse. In truth, there is no instant fix to these behaviors. However, we can create candle spells that address our goals for transformation.
Spellcasting for Anger Control>
“The best fighter is never angry.”
― Lao Tzu
The emotion of anger is one that leaves us out of balance. It can also be detrimental to magickal efforts because you can send out energy that you didn’t intend (or minimally om which you really didn’t want the karmic kickback). Therefore, the spells for anger are aimed at re-establishing self-control, and calming down so that anger doesn’t blind you.
- Time your spells for the waning moon (so anger shrinks), Winter (for cool clarity), moon in Aries (overcoming barriers), and moon in Gemini (balance or banishing).
- Add aromatics such as lavender, pennyroyal, and violet (all of which promote peace).
- Use blue or white candles (the traditional color for tranquility and harmony).
- Include other potential components and symbols such as amethyst (promotes self-control), coral (to quiet anger), water (puts out anger’s fire), lotus (for spiritual equilibrium), or anything that reminds you of calmness.
For this spell, you’ll need to make a special ice cube and have a candle handy (your choice of color). Take a small plastic container and fill it two-thirds of the way with water and put it in your freezer. When it gets to the soft-slushy stage, insert your candle in the middle then let it finish freezing all the way. This way the ice becomes the candle foundation for the spell.
When the ice is completely hard, take the container out and place it on a flat surface (your altar is one good choice). Light the candle saying:
“By my will and this spell, this anger shall quell.
The anger I felt, like this ice, it now melts.”
Imagine pouring all your anger into the candle, and watch the ice. When it begins to melt, remove the candle for safety reasons and blow it out. Lay it beside the ice. When the ice is melted completely throw both away (likewise put away your anger).
Decrease Anger by the Waning Moon
“The light glows with reason and wisdom.
Let anger burn away and decrease; let there be peace.”
Let the candle burn for 10 minutes (the number 10 stresses rationality). On the second night, move the candles slightly closer together repeating the incantation and letting them burn again. Don’t forget to focus on both yourself and the person or situation toward which the energy is directed. Continue this process until the night of the dark moon, when both candles should be allowed to burn for one hour (the number for cooperation) then extinguished together. Dispose of the candles as they represent your anger.
Reclaiming Peace & Accord
This spell calls for any first aid cream along with your candle, an amethyst crystal, and a few drops of aromatic oil (I chose lavender). Mix a few drops of the lavender oil into a small amount (less than one-half teaspoon is more than enough) of the cream. Stir counterclockwise saying:
‘‘Anger shall wane, let there be peace again.”
Rub a little of this cream on the candle and the amethyst stone. Light the candle and place both it and the amethyst in a sunny window (so that the light of reason can shine on the situation). Please make sure all curtains are firmly pulled back, and the candle is secure. Let the candle go out naturally, rinse off the crystal then carry it with you and a charm for balance and harmony.
Jealousy Candle Magick
“Jealousy lives upon doubts. It becomes madness or ceases entirely as soon as we pass from doubt to certainty.”
– Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Jealousy is among the most destructive and unproductive emotions in humankind, and it often comes hand-in-hand with angry attitudes. It can completely tear apart long-term relationships, cause dissension among friends and families, and eat away at a person’s spirit like cancer. There is a large difference between caring about someone and thinking of him or her as a personal possession. Similarly, even when there may be a good reason for feeling a little envious or mistrustful, it is always good to take a few steps back to try to gain more perspective and cool your head. These candle activities give you a few ways to readjust your outlooks and bring positive energy to bear:
- Time your spells for the waning or dark moon, dusk, or when the moon is in Aries (cleaning out old habits) or Libra (restoring balance).
- Add aromatics such as mint and violet that both clear the air and restore peace.
- Use green candles to represent the jealousy or white for purifying intention.
- Include other potential components and symbols that represent the individual from whom the jealousy originates, or a carnelian, which improves communication skills and stills jealousy.
“No need for possessiveness; no need for ill will
By this spell, your jealousy CHILL!”
By the way, you can enact this spell for yourself if you’re the one having overly possessive tendencies (and harboring ill will because of that) by changing the word “your” to “mine.”
Snuffing out Jealousy
This spell requires a greenish-yellow candle, a cup of water, and a carnelian stone. Put the stone in the cup of water and set it aside. Light the candle and focus all your jealousy into it. Think of all the situations that make you feel jealous. Consider exactly how you feel in those moments. Let all that energy pour into the candle’s flame. Now, carefully pick up the candle in your strong hand and look at it saying:
‘‘Jealousy has no power over me.
It’s control I quell
By my will and this spell!”
Turn the candle upside down and douse it in the water. Throw away the candle to disengage yourself from the jealousy. Keep the water-bathed stone as a talisman. Any time you feel the green-eyed monster creeping back, hold the stone in your hand and repeat the incantation to yourself.
Forgiveness Candle Magic
“The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”
― Steve Maraboli
As the saying goes, to forgive is divine. Nonetheless, humans have not fully realized their divine nature, yet it’s sometimes hard for us to forgive, especially when anger and jealousy have created a proverbial war zone. We cling to our memories and pains like badges of honor, even when there’s no real purpose any longer for such a display. Forgiveness heals and opens the door for many other positive things. That’s where Candle Magick comes in handy.
- Time your spells for when the moon is in Libra (for fairness), a new moon, dawn, or spring (for a fresh start), or Friday (the traditional day for “relationship” work).
- Add aromatics such as lavender for peace, mint to clear the air, lemon to encourage friendly feelings, and violet to heal the damage done.
- Use blue or white candles to symbolize an honest truce.
- Include other potential components and symbols such as amethyst, which regulates your personal temperament, white clothing (again to imply truce), blue tourmaline or sodalite (peace), ice (for cooling off), or salve (for healing and recovery).
Talking Stick for Reconciliation
This mini ritual requires that everyone involved be present (or minimally contribute something personal to the ritual to show their good intention). Each person should bring a candle that represents himself or herself to the sacred space. There should be one large white candle on the altar. As each person enters the Circle, they put their candle (in a holder) around the white candle, and light it, saying:
“I bring the light of truth, and a heart of peace.”
After lighting the personal candle, put your hands u (as if surrendering), saying:
“I bring no ill will,
Nor will my words be used as weapons.
I join this Circle of healing freely.”
After clearing the air, everyone should approach the altar and pick up their individual candles. These are to the main white candle chanting together:
“Hostility and misunderstandings have ceased; We promise ourselves to peace!”
This chant should be repeated one time for each person present (but said in unison). Blow out the individual candles. Take some of the wax from the central white one and drip it onto each person’s candle so they can take home group unity and keep that candle on their altar.
Breaking Anger; Building Forgiveness
Continue until each person has had a turn, then all in unison should blow out and break their black candles into thirds (symbolically breaking the anger). These shards get dumped into a garbage receptacle. Finally, as before, each person lights their personal white candle and talks of their hopes for the future. This part of the spell/ritual is limited to only positive insights and goals. Let the candles burn for a while so everyone can sit and talk in the light of peace. Take these home and light them any time you start getting angry about those things which have already been set aside.
The Utility of Candle Spells
As these sample spells illustrate, candles offer you a great deal of potential symbolism to your magical efforts. They melt away a hard heart. They glow with hope and renewal. Your spells for anger, jealousy, and forgiveness put you in the right mind to “fix” things. Nonetheless, they still need honest work on the mundane level to reach your goal. Don’t give up. Your efforts are important to your wellbeing and others in your circle.
Adapted from “Mastering Candle Magic,” by Patricia Telesco. All Rights Reserved.