“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.”
― Roy T. Bennett
To speak or write and to be not only heard but understood is one of the foundations for good relationships, effective business management, imparting our spiritual perspectives to those we love, and many other things in life. Unfortunately, there are many times in our discourse when we feel like those involved are speaking two (if not more) different languages, and there isn’t a translator in sight! Candlelit communication spells and rituals can help bridge the gap between what’s said and what’s actually meant.
“Many times in life I’ve regretted the things I’ve said without thinking. But I’ve never regretted the things I said nearly as much as the words I left unspoken.”
― Lisa Kleypas
- Time your spells for when the moon is in Aries. Fridays and Wednesdays also support this energy. Additionally, consider the theme of the matter at hand as a clue to good timing for your magick. If you’re speaking about love, you might want to cast your spell during the full moon, for example.
- Add Air-oriented aromatics (the Element of communication) such as almond, bergamot, lavender, and pine.
- Use yellow colored candles (attuned to the Air Element and effective expression).
- Include other components such as yellow paper and ink, a telephone cord, and stones such as beryl, carnelian, and hematite (all of which improve your ability to be understood clearly).
Inspiring Effective Communication
Gather together a sheet of yellow paper and a yellow candle. On the paper, write a description of the person with whom (or situation in which) you’d like to communicate more effectively. Fold the paper in half on itself, then in half again, and in half again (three times all told), repeating this incantation each time you fold it:
“Uncertainty and miscommunication, be gone for good.
By this spell, let my words be understood!”
Now take the candle in hand and tip it so that a few drops of yellow wax affix the edges of the paper (like a letter seal). Add another incantation to this process, such as:
“Ideas and words, no longer wait,
Help me to communicate!
Truth be keen, never bend,
So other people comprehend.”
Carry this paper with you into any situation where you feel your ideas or words might be misunderstood. Note, however, that once the core issues have been resolved, you should burn or bury the paper. This is really a “one-shot” spell.
This spell uses candied almonds and a yellow candle as components and is particularly helpful for clearing up miscommunications in a relationship. Wait to cast the spell until Friday, which got its name from the Goddess Frigg who protected marriages. Place the candle and the candies on your altar or another area where you typically work spells. Light the candle, saying:
“The light of good intention shines, its energy saturating the sweet
treats so that my words might likewise be sweet and well received.”
Visualize the light of the candle saturating every bit of the almonds. Leave the candle to burn itself out (if it’s safe to do so) then store the candies in a portable, airtight container. Enjoy one just before going into a difficult discussion with a loved one.
“Go within every day and find the inner strength so that the world will not blow your candle out.”
− Katherine Dunham
Some communications require a greater sense of jurisdiction and influence over a situation. Spells for authority encourage this reliable demeanor when speaking or writing.
- Time your spells for noon (the Sun symbolizes the Fire Element granting authority and leadership), or when the moon is in Leo (to develop new skills and strength).
- Add aromatics: ginger (increased energy), cinnamon (protection from an adversarial authority figure), rose (improved awareness), lily of the valley (clear mindedness), and sage (wisdom).
- Use red candles (the traditional color for power), or white (to encourage rapport and peace with an authority figure).
- Include other potential components and symbols such as tea or thyme (courage), clover (trust), Rowan wood (power and insight), and peaches (wisdom).
This first spell is designed to help you develop an improved sense of authority (Note: The authority must be in an area for which you deserve this authority. Otherwise it’s abusing power). Pick out a candle that will represent you in this spell. Put it in a good holder on a flat surface, which has been covered by a piece of waxed paper. Surround the candle base with dry black tea. Light the candle at 11 a.m. saying this incantation three times:
“As this wax melts, let my influence be felt.
Let my word ring true, and the meaning construe,”
While that burns, gather up the tea and simmer it in warm water. Strain and bless the tea saying:
‘‘Authority within, let the magick begin!”
Drink the tea to internalize the spell, then blow out the candle. You can reuse this for any spell pertaining to authority, strength, or bravery.
Clearing the Lines of Authority and Communication
This spell helps in understanding communications from a difficult person in authority. For it, you’ll need a white candle and a poppet that has somehow been decorated to represent the person in question. For example, if the individual is a secretary, you could attach a pen or other office implement to the poppet. Now, you’ll want to split your time on the candle burning portion of the spell, dividing it equally between noon and dusk so that you have symbolic value of sound reasoning combined with an ending (in this case to animosity). Place the candle and the poppet near each other. When you light it at noon say:
“Let there be honesty, respect, and clarity between me and thee.”
Let the candle burn half way down. On the same day, light it at dusk saying:
‘‘Animosity be gone; let us learn to speak honestly and get along.”
Let the candle burn the remainder of the way down. Keep a small bit of the wax with you whenever you’re in contact with that individual to keep the magick moving and close at hand!
Memory Candle Magick
There’s a saying that goes something like, “If it’s not written down, it does not exist.” Lists are a great way to remember things, but they don’t always help in matters of communication. What about the times that there are no papers, no prompters or strings to tie around your finger? Or the times when you need to be certain of remembering important things easily and with sensitivity (such as your lines for a wedding ritual or the date of your anniversary)? The goal behind candlelight memory spells and charms is one of shining a light into the corners of your mind where that information’s stored (but where it also sometimes seems to hide, out of reach).
- Time your spells for daylight hours (if trying to remember “conscious mind” items, or during moonlight for more esoteric memorization), or when the moon is in Aries.
- Add aromatics such as rosemary, apple, vanilla, and coffee, all of which strengthen the mind.
- Use a yellow candle.
- Include other potential components and symbols such as mustard seed, quartz crystals (for clarity), a memory chip from a computer, or knots (to hold the learning, rather than lose it).
Portable Memory Charm
Inevitably we will all have moments when we really need to remember something in a discussion and do not access to a fast reference. A charm like this helps kick-start your conscious mind. It requires a quartz crystal and a candle.
Take the quartz outside under the bright sunshine to absorb the energy. In a nearby area, light the candle. Recite all the information or concepts that you need to remember into the crystal and the flame of the candle. When you’re done doing this, drop a bit of the candle wax on the crystal, saying:
‘‘As sure as wax from this flame
Remembrance I claim
When held to my brain
The memories retain
When held to my heart
Your information impart!”
Following the pattern of the spell, hold the crystal to your forehead and recite your list or information again, then tuck it in your pocket. Put the crystal to your heart when you sense you’re forgetting something.
This second spell begins as the first and combines knot magic with candle magic. This time you need a length of yellow ribbon or yarn and a candle. Light the candle and look over the materials you need to remember by the warmth of its light. Next, take up the length of ribbon or yarn, and knot pieces of information into it by speaking into the strand what you need to remember, then adding:
“Bound within, the spell beings
When unwound, memory abounds!”
Repeat this process all the way down the length of the yarn or ribbon. You can make this as long or short as you want, but don’t try to cram too much information into each knot. It can only house too much. If you wish, color code the knots using a marker (brown for a financial issue, yellow for communicating warmly to a group, etc.). That way, when you realize you can’t remember, you can undo the knot that releases the correct information.
Humor, Communication, and Magi
Laughter is good soul food and humor a great equalizer in communication. If you can laugh together, you can relate information in a more positive manner. This sample spell is intended to keep your sense of humor “on point” when you need it most.
- Time your spells for whenever you’re feeling unamused. Don’t wait for things to get worse.
- Add lightly scented aromatics (humor shouldn’t have heavy energy) that you personally enjoy (it’s hard to be upbeat when you hate what you’re smelling).
- Use a multi-colored candle if you can find one. I personally see humor as a rainbow-like glitter that sprinkles into one’s aura. The multi-colored candle reflects that idea.
- Include other potential components and symbols such as a feather to tickle your fancy and good jokes and puns in the ritual. Also, bubbles, balloons, and anything else that wakes up the inner child’s sense of whimsy.
Choose a candle that’s to your liking and find a couple of feathers. You find the feathers outside, however, please put it in a plastic bag in the freezer for one week to kill off any insect hitchhikers. Place the candle on a surface where you can see easily when standing. Light the candle and breathe deeply. Really try to relax and loosen up−it’s nearly impossible to humorous when your over-wound.
Next, brush the feathers through all of your aura (your head, arms, torso, legs, and even below your feet). As you do chant this little ditty:
“Negativity take flight; tickled by feathers and a sparkling light
Negativity I command to flee; good humor restore in me!”
Afterward, let the candle continue to burn (if it’s safe to do so) and go do something fun that will really inspire your funny bone (maybe go to a comedy club or rent your favorite humorous movie). You can keep the feathers somewhere safe for similar spells in the future.
Candle Magick Solutions
You have a lot of options for opening the path to good communication. Candle magic is just one, but it’s simple and effective. If you add visualizations to any of these spells focus on blue light pouring into your aura which corresponds to your throat chakra, helping to keep it open and clear. Speak your truth in love, and you can’t really go wrong.
Adapted from “Mastering Candle Magic,” by Patricia Telesco. All Rights Reserved.