“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
– Lao Tzu
When most people think of love spells they imagine a magical working aimed at finding the perfect partner. And it is true that many crafted spells are intended for that purpose. But what about after you’re in a relationship? It’s not like you have to stop your magical efforts toward one another just because you’re a couple now. If anything, this is a space within which charms, spells and other metaphysical processes can shine and bring greater stability and connection.
Types of Love Spells for Couples
Relationships are curious creatures. They take a lot of work to maintain in good condition. There will be times when your interactions need a proverbial tune up. Other times when you both have a common goal for which you want an extra energetic dimension. The idea behind this article is giving you some sample spells as starting points. Don’t be afraid to get creative – this is only a small taste of a number of objectives in your lives together with which magic can help.
Anger and Restoring Love with Magick
You know that old saying, “don’t go to bed angry”? It really is good advice. Let’s face it, even in the best relationships there are moments when you feel like your partner is insufferable. Perhaps you have a knock-down drag-out fight. Perhaps you just can’t agree to disagree. None of these feelings foster healthy love. That’s when spells for quelling anger help:
- General Uses: Dispersing negative tempers, restoring calm and equilibrium, forgiveness.
- Timing: Waning moons, dawn. Moon in Gemini or Aries. The months of February and August. Monday (healing) or Tuesday (to encourage logic).
- Props/Focals: The numbers 1 and 13. The color white. A white flag, a picture of a dove, and peace offerings. Items to represent the focus of your anger (usually destroyed during spell casting breakables or tear-ables are best). Fires that can be extinguished.
Anger Spell for Yourself:
This spell uses the principle of sympathy for its foundation. During the Renaissance Sir Kenelm Digby, a period herbalist, illustrated something similar with a recipe for the Powder of Sympathy. Healers placed this powder on the blade that caused a wound. By administering the balm to the instrument of injury, people believed the wound would heal faster.
Find an object that symbolizes the issue central to your anger. The item should be something that you don’t mind leaving covered with cream. Also, go to your medicine cabinet and find some first aid ointment or any salve that heals wounds. Light a white candle (for peace) and place both the cream and the token in front of you. Slowly consider all the reasons for your anger. Let that energy pour outward into the chosen symbol until, in your mind’s eye, it radiates a red light from your fury. By this point you should feel calmer too.
Next take enough cream in both palms to cover the emblem. As you apply cream to the emblem, say, “As balm to this figure, so also to my heart. Where animosity has grown, healing now impart.” Repeat this thirteen times while massaging the cream into the object. Place this in a safe place so peace may grow undisturbed.
Anger Spell for Two People:
Use this spell to inspire restitution between two people. Both individuals should begin privately by making a knotted cord. Each knot represents a specific problem area that is engendering pain or ire-for example, nagging or lateness. Name them as you work, pouring all your negative feelings into each knot.
Next, meet during a waning moon in a neutral location. Meditate briefly together to calm your feelings. One at a time, untie a knot while speaking its name to the other person. When finished, exchange cords and burn them as a sign of release, forgiveness, and the end of hard feelings.
Bury the ashes with the seed of any hardy plant saying together, “As this plant grows, so love flows. Forever goodwill stays, anger is burned away.” Make a concerted effort never to discuss those problems again.
Love Magick for Fertility
When a couple decides to grow their family, a beautiful expression of love, they can use fertility spells to help with old-fashioned copulation. Hint: don’t let romance go by the wayside just because you’re trying to conceive and working magic! This is a joyful time. Let your actions reflect that.
- General Uses: Pregnancy
- Timing: From the waxing to full moon. The season of spring. When the moon is in Virgo or Pisces. The month of April. Monday and Friday. During the fertile part of a woman’s cycle.
- Props/Focals: The numbers 7 and 12. An easterly wind for new beginnings. Images of fish, storks, rabbits, or a pregnant Goddess. Cauliflower, eggs, and cheese (for manifestation). Agate, coral, and jade (for luck). Dandelions, seedlings, hazelnuts (for men), and ash wood. The colors green (for growth) or yellow (for creativity). Knots to secure the magic.
Fertility Spell 1
A couple wishing to conceive should come together when the woman is in the fertile part of her cycle. Coordinating this with any of the other timings listed above will improve the potential for success. Decorate the area for your spell in green and yellow. Set up an altar with the image of a pregnant woman in a central position to represent the Mother Goddess. Also place a seedling from any hardy plant nearby. Make sure both participants are well rested, healthy, and calm before beginning.
Next, sit in front of the altar and light a candle together to symbolize your hope. Dedicate a moment of prayer to your household God/dess, then begin breathing in unison, and extending your senses to each other. Chant quietly in unison, “Fertility, grow in us.” Allow this phrase to get louder as passion grows. Let nature take her course.
Finally, the couple should take the seedling somewhere to grow in rich soil that won’t be disturbed so the magic can likewise root. This spell can be repeated any time you’re trying to conceive. It also may be used to smooth the course of adoptions by making appropriate changes in the verbal component. In this case the sexual union extends loving energy to find the right child.
Woman’s Spell for Protecting a Fetus
If you are having trouble carrying to term and its worrying both of you, use this spell as a spiritual support unit. Begin by getting a sturdy piece of green rope (for growth). Tie one knot in it to represent the baby. Hold the rope gently in both hands and place it up against your heart and say, “Secured in my womb, a seed of love. There to grow and blossom until released by nature ___ months hence.” Next have your partner take the rope and hold it to their hard adding: “Surrounded by safety, health, and wholeness you shall remain until this knot is undone.” Fill in the blank with the number of months until your due date, then keep the rope bundled in a baby blanket.
When you go into labor, untie the knot at the hospital to release pain and open the birthing channel. This is similar to what many European midwives used to do. When delivering a baby, they opened every cupboard, button, and window so that labor would be swift.
Forgiveness through Love Magick
The idea of “forgive and forget” is idealistic at best, and impractical at the worst. It simply isn’t always that easy for us to forgive and move on, particularly if we feel like there are unresolved issues. The idea behind forgiveness spells is helping our heart be ready for that transformation so anger doesn’t blind our love.
General Uses: Mercy, Compassion, Making right a wrong.
Timing: Moon in Aries or Libra to restore emotional balance. New moon. The month of February.
Props/Focals: Coconut, lavender, mint, and parsley. Moonstone or alexandrite. The color white. The numbers 2 and 9. Items that can represent the area of disagreement or discord.
Restoring Serenity with Love Spells
To make a decorative serenity talisman, saw open a whole coconut making sure that it remains in two complete halves. Clean out the meat and set it aside to use in cooking. Next, make holes in both sides of the shell with a small nail. If desired, pattern the holes symbolically or use a specific number to enhance meaning. Set the halves aside to dry. Meanwhile, find a disposable representation of your anger. Also gather a piece of white paper or cloth, some dried mint, white ribbon, and glue.
Sit before your image of your anger and pour all your feelings into it. It may help to visualize or reenact the situation that induced those feelings. Cry or shout until a sense of quiet emptiness settles over you. Then, wrap the emblem in white cloth, saying, “I cover you with peace, harmony, and understanding. I accept peace to my own heart and extend it to _______. Where anger was born, let love replace it.”
Now, inside one half of the coconut shell lay the cloth and emblem, completely surrounding them with mint (to encircle it with calm energy). Put on the top of the shell and glue the two halves together. Finally, use the white ribbon of truce as adornment. Hang the coconut somewhere nearby so the winds can release its serene energy (and fresh scent) into your home. If the coconut ever “goes bad,” bury it with your negativity.
Please note that this spell can be done alone to remove negative feelings or by two people to return peace to a relationship. If more than one person is participating, each needs to bring a small emblem of their hostility. When finished, keep the coconut in a mutually enjoyed place where you can visit together to renew the promise of peace.
Each of you should bring one sprig of parsley, the base of which is wrapped nine times with white thread or tape. Stand facing each other.
Offer each other your parsley bundle. As each of you takes it say something like, “I accept peace with you into my heart.” It is good to hug at this point and to make a deliberate effort to put the past behind you. Keep the sprigs in a safe location.
Love Spells for Peace and Harmony
A harmonious home is also a happy and love-filled one. Our ancestors knew this, and had some ideas on making that happen with a little magic. This spell is useful both for couples and family units.
- General Uses: Peace, symmetry, compatibility, agreement, accord.
- Timing: Dawn and dusk. During daylight hours when the moon is visible. New Years and Halloween. Midnight and noon. Waxing moons. Moon in Gemini, Libra, or Pisces. The month of August.
- Props/Focals: The colors pale blue or white. The number 2 and 3. Basil, rose, water, olives, coriander, and aloe. Gentle, blended music or objects in which different items come together in beauty, such as a flower arrangement or a patterned fabric. Scales.
Old English Harmony Spell
To encourage harmony in the home, an English custom is to hang a bundle of coriander near the hearth. Before you do so, accent your bundle with three braided blue ribbons. While you braid, play peaceful music, and add an incantation such as “Harmony, harmony, harmony, brought into my home. Peace, joy, and happiness, magic through my poem.” To accentuate this effort, add dried basil to the bundle and then place it in your kitchen.
Alternatively use blue and white ribbon (white for peace). You can keep this in a false chimney if you have one, representing your hearth. As you place the amulet in its resting area, bless it, saying “Together we stand, united, in our home and our hearts. Peace be with us here, never to part.” Repeat the chosen blessing once for each person in the house, then leave the charm undisturbed. If you find the tension in your home escalating, have the whole family participate in empowering the amulet again. If you move to a new residence, take along the cache, and repeat the blessing, thus filling this place with loving energy and harmony.
We see kinship spells often at handfastings or engagements. Nonetheless, you can enact them any time you want to strengthen those sacred connections.
General Uses: Family lines, associations, close bonds and affinity.
Timing: Waxing moon or full moon. Moon in Aries, Gemini, or Aquarius. The month of June. Warm days.
Props/Focals: An interlocking web or chain. Spider webs, trees, or roses. A coat of arms, a broom, knots, and bread. Jade. The color pink. The numbers 1 (unity), 9, and 12. Warm, cozy items. Picnic tables or barbecues. Cardamom and rosemary.
All our Relations “In the Pink”
To strengthen the ties between yourself and your partner (and/or his or her family), use pink ink or crayon to draw a spider web. At random junctures, like in a family tree, place the names of the individuals to whom you wish to remain close. While you draw and write, quietly chant, “Unity, oneness, accord.” Allow this chant to rise naturally, then quiet down as you finish. Frame the paper or keep it where it cannot be torn or stained.
The Cup of Kinship
A couple wishing to link their destinies, encourage fertility, and show their oneness may do so by drinking from one common cup of wine spiced with cardamom and rosemary (an ancient tradition among Pagans, Romans, Celts, and Gypsies). Then the couple should jump over a broomstick or sword (a rural European practice). This makes a fun addition to marriage and handfasting rites.
Passion and Sensuality
As a relationship matures it can become more difficult to keep intimacy alive and thriving. When you need a little more passion and sexuality in your personal time together, try these spells.
Personal Magick Potion for Desire
For a potion to enhance your desire, prepare a juice with carrots, celery, a hint of dill, and a little water. Use a blender or food processor. Strain the juice for smoother texture. Before drinking, take the elixir into the moonlight and visualize a reddish fire burning in its center. Quaff the glass to bring that fire into yourself.
Desire – Table for Two
To heighten sensuality, consider creating a flaming banana split for two, filled with ingredients that accentuate the passionate nature. Prepare with vanilla ice cream, chocolate nuggets or strawberry pieces, cherries, passion fruit, bananas, and a topping of brandy. Light the brandy carefully while incanting together, “Passion and desire, fill us with fire!” Blow out the flames in unison. Feed small spoonfuls of the dessert to each other … (be creative while you’re eating). Play tempestuous music and share your personal fantasies. Let nature take her course.
Love Magic for Lighting the Fires of Passion
Find a romantic, secluded area where you and your lover can build a fire legally and safely. Walk clockwise around the fire pit visualizing a reddish-purple light surrounding it and spreading outward. Get the fire started.
Once the fire is burning well, add a mixture of cinnamon, mint, seven strands of each person’s hair, and some musk-scented wood powder. Sprinkle this on the coals, saying, “Burn in us, flames of desire, as these embers rise up, so passion burns brighter.” An incantation like this can be transformed into a chant that reaches a crescendo at the same time as your feelings. If the area is secluded enough, slowly undress and enjoy lovemaking right where you are.
Salad with a Side of Sensuality
Get in touch with your latent Kitchen Witch. Prepare a salad from lettuce, cucumber, carrot slices, and chopped eggs. Make sure to tear the lettuce by hand instead of cutting it, so emotions aren’t also cut off. Also consider carving the carrot slices into heart shapes by chilling the fresh carrot, using 1/4-inch pieces, and carefully cutting out a small indentation on one edge.
Toss this salad with cardamom dressing to hold the energy together. Add a verbal component like “With greens to grow, and carrots to light an inner glow, cucumber adds some zest, eggs and dressing do the rest. Passion from this bowl now turned, within us let those fires burn.” Serve by the light of two red candles.
After your passionate salad, try this special froth. Put 2 cups of passion fruit juice, two small bananas, and two slices of orange into your blender. Add some crushed ice, then whip up the romantic energy. Serve from one large glass adorned with two straws and two cherries.
Unity and Unions from Love Magick
Good relationships have unity as a foundation. We sometimes represent this unity through the marriage union. Other times, you can weave magic that supports your united front together.
- General Use: Consolidation, affiliation, alliance, mergers, weddings or handfastings, initiation, and conception rites.
- Timing: June, March, and August. Waxing to full moon. Moon in Gemini, Virgo, or Aquarius. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.
- Props/Focals: Rings, flower garlands, contracts, cups, triangles, and wax seals. Tied knots, celebratory decorations, or cake. Agate. Almond, anise, apple, basil, rosemary, rose, and cardamom. Easterly winds. Ash wood, birch, and pine. The numbers 1 (unity) and 2 (partnership).
Marriage and Handfasting
Have a friend make a long garland of roses, apple blossoms, and decorative leaves by binding them together with florist’s wire. As they secure each, they can empower the decoration by saying something like “Joined in love, in unity, bring happiness to _____ and _____.” The garland is then wrapped around you and your partner’s hands after the vows are recited. An alternative is to use scented silk flowers so the garland can be preserved as a memento of that special day.
When the two of you face a situation where you need a strong center of unity try this spell. Start with a single glass filled with apple wine and two almonds. Both of you sip from that cup. Afterward speak your commitment into the remaining wine. One person holds the top of the cup while the other partner wraps blue ribbon around the base. When completed, recite an incantation like “Bound in blue, joy rings true. Circles unite, magic take flight. Sweetness and peace, may love never cease.” Keep this on your altar or in a place where it reminds you of your common resolve.
As you can see there are a lot of ways you can creatively apply magic spells to your relationship. Sit down and work up ones together. The spells will be more personal and therefore have better outcomes.
Adapted from “Spinning Spells Weaving Wonders,” by Patricia Telesco. All rights reserved.